All right, I know I could have been more creative with the title, but I went to see this movie sober despite the movie's obvious suggestive name.
Usually a review will veer from spoiling the plot, but since this movie seems to run without one, I need not worry. Truth is, I can't even blame the fourteen dollars I wasted to see this shit show on my fiancé. I thought it looked ... cute? The characters are so flat you would think a marble could find itself confused. And they're so void of feeling any emotion towards, I got to thinking about whatever happened to those late night re-runs of Craig T. Nelson's previous role in "Coach." After watching these nitwits, I just knew wherever Dobber might be, it has to be a better place than where I was.
As a suggestion to my fellow man, if you are taken to this movie and you manage to loosen the ropes, preferably before the opening credits, say you have diarrhea and spend two hours at the bar next door. If she wonders where you have been, say you shat yourself dry and needed to hydrate. I promise, the hell she may raise will be less painful than the ass kicking you will give yourself for watching this atrocity.
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5 comments:
Dobber is now the voice of Patrick on Sponge Bob.
That's an absolutely hilarious review... I, too, have seen The Family Stone. And while I was fortunate not to spend $14 on the outing... I agree that it didn't live up to its potential.
Heh, Jacob's a Spongebob fan. Do they make a Sponge Bob Beer?
I saw SpongeBob once and if I remember right, he's a sponge living in bikini bottom. Is that a reference to the contraceptive made famous by a Seinfeld episode? Does anyone find this similarity perverse? or am I just dirty?
I've never thought of it that way, but for some reason I knew there was something not right with all their naming. And yes, you are dirty.
That's right kiddies. Try watching your favorite cartoon now without having impure thoughts.
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